Happy New Year, America!

There's no holiday quite so American as New Year's Eve. We all go to New York City or New York, New York the casino to watch balls drop and vomit sweet, sweet Freedompagne. Of course, Christians view the New Year as a time to make resolutions, reflect, and judge others.



Happy New Year from your friends at Blingee Jesus! Here's to a Very Blingee 2010!

FOUND: "Jesus Love's You Elvis"

James 1:11, "For the sun is no sooner risen with a burning heat, but it withereth the grass, and the flower thereof falleth, and the grace of the fashion of it perisheth: so also shall the Bloated, Over-Hyped Rock Star fade away in his ways."

We Three Kings and Queens

Gold, frankincense and myrrh? BORING. Here's a gift to our Savior, who is the greatest gift who's ever been giv'n:

Feliz Navidad!

We at Blingee Jesus would like to wish a very Feliz Navidad to our neighbors to the South. (But please stay there and let Real Americans have jobs!) These Blingees we found really give meaning to this season of love!

The True Nativity, AD 0000

I'm a little embarrassed to say this in such a sacred sphere, but when I came upon this image of the nativity, my first thought was, "Who was the Godless Heathen Sodomite who deemed this an appropriate depiction of the birth of our Lord and Savior, yea, even the Alpha and Omega?!" After I got the stink eye from a fellow patron at our local Barnes and Noble Fake Starbucks Cafe, I decided to rectify what went so tragically wrong:




Luke 2:7, And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because they did not have enough Starwoods Reward Points to stay at the Comfort Inn and Suites.

Happy Ho-lidays

Today's theme was suggested by a dear friend of Blingee Jesus. We're not the only ones excited for Christmas!

First, the professional ho celebrates the season and gives us a template for the 2k9 Ho-lidays:



The amateur attempts the ho-lidays look:



Next, the Myspace hos make an effort:





And finally, we are scarred for life:





Oh my goodness! We need a palate cleanser.



Remember, Jesus is the reason for the season!

Jesus at the Tea Party

It's a little-known and totally true fact that the Virgin Mary is a total tea snob. Jesus has been attending tea parties his whole life! Here's a sweet picture of Mary and Baby Jesus enjoying some tea with Mary's BFFs:



Happy tea partying!

FOUND: Patriotic to the Max!

Fellow soldiers in the fight for a 100% Christian America are busy at work on Blingee.com!

Santa's getting ready for a Patriotic CHRISTmas:




This CHRISTmas is going to be awesome!



The caption for this beautiful Blingee appears below, unedited.

GOD BLESS OUR SERVICE MEN AND WOMEN. IN THIS CHRISTMAS SEASON WATCH OVER THEM AND BRING THEM SAFELY HOME TO ALL OF US. IT DOES NOT MATTER WHAT COUNTRY YOU ARE FROM, WE PRAY THAT ALL SERVICEMEN COME HOME TO THEIR FAMILIES THIS YEAR. BLESS THEM LORD. T.

Finally, this Blingee is so Blingee Jesus that we had to make sure we didn't make it ourselves:



Do I smell a guest blogger among us?