I Really Wish I Came Up with This

Christ, that's some badassery

Congratulations to Miss Blingee Jesus!

Blingee Jesus would like to congratulate our mascot and favorite Real American Lady, Carrie Prejean, on her recent engagement! Carrie is going to marry a quarterback, driving her celestial vehicle on the glitter-encrusted road to our idol, Elisabeth Hasselbeck's, home town: Christpublican Village.

Let's help Carrie out with her wedding plans! This lovely dress is Pure Carrie:



We LOVE the huge tiara and daring decolletage of this ensemble! We hope Carrie has butterflies at her wedding, too!



Our winner today is this beautiful gown that shows off Carrie for the Princess she is, while highlighting her most important asset: Her womb!



We can't wait for Carrie and hubs to move into their sparkling mansion on White Street and start makin' babies! Fingers crossed they're a Quiverfull family!

Found on Blingee: We Love You, America

America has really come through for Blingee Jesus! Check out what our compatriots in Christ have been working on:

We're calling this one "Rolling With The J-Homies." (RIP Brittany!)




If we get Left Behind, we're going to be first in line for the Arm Wrestle Smackdown between Jesus and the Devil! Awesome!




Finally, get ready for Valentine's Day! We're spending it with our one true love: Jesus!

)

Happy New Year, America!

There's no holiday quite so American as New Year's Eve. We all go to New York City or New York, New York the casino to watch balls drop and vomit sweet, sweet Freedompagne. Of course, Christians view the New Year as a time to make resolutions, reflect, and judge others.



Happy New Year from your friends at Blingee Jesus! Here's to a Very Blingee 2010!

FOUND: "Jesus Love's You Elvis"

James 1:11, "For the sun is no sooner risen with a burning heat, but it withereth the grass, and the flower thereof falleth, and the grace of the fashion of it perisheth: so also shall the Bloated, Over-Hyped Rock Star fade away in his ways."

We Three Kings and Queens

Gold, frankincense and myrrh? BORING. Here's a gift to our Savior, who is the greatest gift who's ever been giv'n: