Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Lamb or Lion of God?

Friends of Blingee Jesus,

Have you ever noticed that sometimes Jesus looks like a lion?

We have.

We've also noticed that lambs are cute and tender, while lions are ferocious and intense. We prefer lions! They're so much like Jesus: Noble, righteous, African. So we at Blingee Jesus have decided that Jesus is no longer the Lamb of God; he's the Lion of God, and we need his ferocity now more than ever. You should now sing Agnus Dei as follows:

Lion of God,
You kill and maim the sins of the world,
Have mercy on us.

Lion of God,
You rip apart the sins of the world
With your teeth.


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